Edward and Delores in Hell

A Tale By Jess Walls and Jess Murray

Delores was a strange girl, you see, she was half owl and half girl and covered in fleas

And Edward too was quite odd indeed, he was from twilight and liked watching people bleed

They went to inspect a cave one day and after a while they lost their way

They came across some glowing green goop, through which they proceeded to duck and loop

And they saw a whale in that very dark cave, a whale who very badly needed to shave

They mounted the fluffy old whale who was beginning to look rather pale

The sat upon the wales back then headed down the rickety track

The way to hell was long and slow and the wind began to blow and blow

They took off up into the air "look!" Shouted Delores "look over there!"

Undead fat piglets they were and they spoke with an almost American slur

Hell was under construction due to all the destruction on Earth

There was renovation throughout the nation of Hell

"What is this?" A booming voice growled, "who happened upon my sacred shroud?

"How dare you come into my lair! How dare you destroy without a care!"

And with that there was a wild chase, the devil mounted a friendly face, the neon cat began to race

Ed and Delores were at a rapid pace on a peacock by the name of Grace

The devil sat down and with a rather large frown he began to have a breakdown.

He cried, "I will now tell you the story of my life, for it is very cruel and fiddled with strife

My childhood was quite terrible you see, no one loved me, not even momma Dee

I was bullied by almost everyone at school, they would laugh and point and call me a fool

Sick and tired from all the trouble, they picked up and left before it could double

To the devil they said farewell, they blew him a kiss and then left hell

As they went down the path a wolf stood in their way, "that's a rather large wolf!" "I do say!"

Edward looked at his face, it made him sick, so he got on his knees and sucked his boot.

"Hey, asked the wolf. Have you seen a little girl today?"

Ed guzzled him up and they walked away

“Nuh uh sister you ain't getting no girl!”

He ate him with one bite and started to hurl

Edward and Delores walked all the way home after stopping off for an ice-cream cone

The End